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Mademoiselle
L.Y.L.
Sweet 16
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Antiquity
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008

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Designer: Manikka
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Monday, March 31, 2008
Feeling awkward is normal right?
Is it supposed to happen lyk 90% of the time?
Is it supposed to make you feel rotten?
Lyk you don't belong?
Like even though they're nice and all, maybe they don't really want u around?
Even the most trusted ones feel lyk they don't want you there?


Yea, I get that alot

Sunday, March 30, 2008
Yea, I realize that was random
Don't ask.
I got to see Water Horse today with Wen Lin, it's a good movie
But no hott guys.
I also forced Wen Lin to eat Sushi!!! Muahahaha
But she lyked it, so that was good
Church was fun today and my dad actually complained that I'm not girly enough anymore
ME
How totally wrong!
So now he insists I buy a new dress,
Oookkkaaayyyy
Not how I planned it but if I get a new dress in the proses, okay by me!!

Saturday, March 29, 2008
I knew it!!!
I knew I'd get over it lyk that!
Sooo me, right?
Whatever, the point is, I'm happy again
Yes, Asha, you can relax now.
I'm presently waiting for ma dad to come home and pick me up for Youth.
I had school today but all I did was sit around with the other 3 gals that came.
Dunno what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Thinkin of going to catch a movie with some friends.
If I do, I'll watch lyk 3 in a row. Hahahaha.
No, I'm serious.

Friday, March 28, 2008
Okay, so ppl are all askin me, "what was the hardest thing u had to do?"

Well, the truth is, it was accepting that I don't fit in with certain friends of mine
I had to accept that I was a crap captain and that I'm trying to fit in with these ppl
when I'm clearly very different from them
I try to be nice and pretend not to care that I get ignored
But I had to accept today that maybe I'm not wanted
Maybe ppl don't want me around.
So, I'm going to stop trying
I see that they're way more comfortable around other ppl
So I guess I'm going to have to just let it go

There it is.
What I had to do that was to hard.

It must be lyk a hobby or something.
In this world, I notice that the bitches are the ones who get the farthest in life
Interesting....
Maybe I'm too nice at times.
AT TIMES
Trust me, I can be a real bitch at times
Just ask my cheerleaders or friends...hehehe
I realized that the only way to know when I've truely become a bitch, 
is when I stop caring abt what other ppl say
It's lyk, bitch, or be bitched abt
I prefer to bitch, thanks.
Manipulation is a good thing at times. Who knew??
Today my freakin teacher got on my back about me askin my cheerleaders to pay for thier stuff
Well duhh. I'm certainly not gonna pay for it! Then my cow of a co captain jumped in
That's when hell started
She broke the radio yesturday. But she had to just say that she just tripped over the radio wire
Even though she YANKED the cord out of it's socket n practically pulled it off the chair
So I'm getting yelled at because she lied
Again, interesting...
I thought about just going n telling my teacher abt it first thing this morning
but I didn't want to be a bitch
Now I feel that, maybe around Ailyn, it might be a good thing.
But whatever, I'm just going to bitch at and abt her all the time now.
She needs to know I'm the captain
I'm not going anywhere.

Thursday, March 27, 2008




    

U don't know how it feels to be outside the crowd
U don't know what it's lyk
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels to be ur own best friend
On The Outside Looking In

If you could read my mind,
you might see more of me than meets the eye
and you've been all wrong
not who u think I am
You've never given me a chance




 

Wait, I still am!!!!

Today was CRAP

Ailyn n her 'gang' just walked away during practice n didn't come back

I was ignored by lyk everyone

Aisyah abbandoned me

I was ignored by everyone

I found out I have school on Sat

I was ignored by everyone

and I'm outta cred

OH YEA, N I WAS IGNORED BY EVERYONE



Tuesday, March 25, 2008
OMG!!
Ailyn should really just go to hell
She can't just drop it.
Stupid pampered bitch
I'm only pissed with her now
I MISS ASHA!!
ASHA!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!???!!! I'm lyk waiting online for you to come on!
I wanna ask u something!!!
N even though I cover my ears when she and Stef sing,
I actually enjoy it as it always makes me feel better
Tomorrow's day BIG day!! Gymnastrada baby!!!
Good luck to all lower forms
Gonna bring ma camera so I can take piccas with my girls!!
I got demerited for the STUPIDEST thing today!!
I mean, how should I know even CLEAR nail polish isn't allowed?
N isn't she lyk supposed to give me a day to take it off or something?
Stupid tiny cow! She's a bitter human being
I'm reading Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella again and her amazing writing skills
still amaze me.
I'm writing a new story. For some reason, I was watching HSM2, and I had an impulse to
write a new HSM story about Sharpay! Since ppl know me as the Sharpay of IJC anyway
Though I'm not THAT mean
I'm only bitchy when I have to be. Pls understand that.
I'm lyk a cat. I do what I want but if you get in the way, I do have claws for a reason, hello??
I HAVE to go shopping and I want to go with Asha n Stef but I can't freakin reach Asha!!!!!
..............
Okay, nvm. She just msged me. Hahahahahaha. PERFECT timing!!
Thank goodness for my friends man, the only thing keeping me from transfering to KL
Luvs!!!

Monday, March 24, 2008
Okay, so my cheerleaders are being suckish again but whatever
My nails are finally long again
The rain won't seem to stop
Gymnastrada is in 2 days
Sports Day is in 2-3 weeks
I'm dying for Victoria Secret junk!
I need to get highlights again
I'm pissed with 2 ppl
I'm losing weight!!

Sunday, March 23, 2008


One of my favourite perfumes!
AND it has the PERFECT name
The dogtag is my absolute obsession! PINK all the way!
And the one on top is sparkle perfume, it's got glitter in it.
The other few things include my
Friends
Family
Shoes
Collection on PINK stuff
and chocolate. Lol
Luvs!!


Saturday, March 22, 2008
Please stop askin me why I'm so depressed.
I'm not going to say
My mood swings are horrible now
I can be happy then totally EMO
I haven't let go of the things that happened in the past and I doubt I ever will
It's sad that you haven't guessed why I'm depressed
Because I thought you knew me better than that
Apparently, I was wrong.
And I'm wrong to expect my friends to stick up for me to I guess
Yes, this is something that's already in the past and I don't know what I want you to do about it
Because there's nothing to do now
I trust you to much and I must learn to stop trusting you to back me up
What kills me the most is that you knew I was hurt and you watched me cry,
but you just stood there
Lyk you couldn't see it.
I can hold grudges and remember things that hurt me for a long time
And I'm not one to let go of things so easily


Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Okay, I've stopped cryin inside now


Hahahahaha







Monday, March 17, 2008
DEEP DOWN, I'M CRYING




enuf said


Sunday, March 16, 2008
The biggest cut, and I'm out of bandages....

You know how some ppl mean so much to you, you just can't stay mad at them?

Before you go gettin mad at ppl n yellin at them, think about what you really expect them to do
 
ONE CONVERSATION!
THAT'S ALL IT TAKES TO CALM ME DOWN
N MAKE ME STOP BEING PISSED AT YOU
SERIOUSLY, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO FORGIVING AT TIMES???


Saturday, March 15, 2008
Something happened today.
Something I don't even want to talk about
But I have to tell someone....

You know that feeling where you can't talk to anyone?
Your parents either don't want to hear it or don't care
Your friends don't get it or don't give a shit
Your siblings don't wanna hear it either
Your stuffed animals can't give advice...

THERE'S NOONE TO TALK TO ANYMORE.


What happened today,
It'll leave a scar
I wish I could just drop it,
But it's not that easy
I can't tell her or her because they'll think it's stupid
And noone else will listen.
Who can I run to?
Who?

For some reason, Asha says I'm annoying her.
I don't even know what I did!
Maybe I've replaced Pheobe to her
Maybe I'm the new gal that none of her friends like
Maybe they hate that I'm so close with Stef
Maybe now I understand Pheobe's point of view on this one


I'm beginning to see how unfair we were to Pheobe.
It's difficult for her to get friends and I'm sure she really looked up to Stef
WE pushed her out of her life and I see how totally wrong we were
And another thing is how unfair the organizers for the prom are
I mean think about it.
All the ppl that have PAID for thier tickets, still can't get in if thier name isn't
on "the list"
How stupid is that? I mean, if ppl can't go, they'll give thier tickets to thier friends right?
What if they don't think it's THAT important to tell the organizers?
Then those tickets are wasted.
Noone can use them now, so God knows how many tickets will be usless..
Including mine and Jazels

Friday, March 14, 2008
OHMIGOD YOU GUYS!!!
My cheer squad is totally fabulous.
They finally learned that it's a group effort n not just snotty cat fights
All that's left now is some costume issues
But I'm solving that tomorrow
Asha is dyin to know why I'm still slighly sad
Well, let's just say it has smt to do with I DON'T GET TO GO TO PROM
And if Jazel still gets in I'll really be pissed
I didn't tell anyone but I'm really sad that I can't go
I just tell them it's no biggie and I myself decided not to go and you might find it stupid
since I just said I'm sad cuz I don't get to go but if I do,
I'll be kicked out or even if I get in I'll be really really awkward standing there
Sure, Stef will be there n Asha too but those two r the only one's that really like me
at least in thier group of friends
THAT'S why I'm still down no matter what.
N I'll probably still be down after prom as well
God I wish I could go

Tuesday, March 11, 2008
OMG Asha!! She didn't scold me but she was a little bit red in the face I bet
N she can't believe I wrote the previous post because I used 'malay words'
I blame Jie Jie Krystyn n Uncle Saiful. Hahahahahaha
Don't ask
I'm lyk presently sitting on my godsister's bed, playin on ma laptop
Having nothing better to do than type this and play 'buy friends'
on facebook. Hehehe. Seriously, it's addictive
Me n Asha are gettin high again because I'm, tryin to irritate her by
speakin 'broken english' n I'm quite bad at it actually so I guess that means
I'm good at it?? I'm not quite sure about it...

Monday, March 10, 2008
I'm in KL right now so I'm happy
Krystyn gave me some great advice abt my cheerleading squad.
I have barely any money because me mom took my money but I've got enuf
Fun to be able to come up here and forget my problems for a while
N I just want to tell everyone how great a friend Asha is... hahahaha
She's really good with advice and really cares abt how u feel
Hahahaha sure she malu adi because I praise her so much
N Li Hui so bad, never gve me cred for takin her 'dream pic' for her
I'm not speakin to her....but just for fun only
Ailyn finally replied my SMS. I think it's her but I'm not sure because
it's a diff num
But it answered all the questions I'd sent her on her num so I'm guessin it's her
If it is then I'm happy because it means that we're slowly workin together again
I feel like gettin something for Asha from KL but lazy betul
Hahahaha. Sure she scold after this
I know! I'll buy cute lil cupcakes.
N like lots of them so I can give them to my Cheerleading squad

Sunday, March 9, 2008
I don't want to be selfish here
But that's who I am. I'm used to my friends backin me up
no matter what
Maybe it's wrong of me to expect you to do the same,
as you're not like that and I respect that you want to be fair
And I blame myself for being this unfair to you
But I will never understand how you could lie to me
And keep things from me
I'm so so sorry
But that's really how I feel abt this, call me selfish and mean,
Cuz I myself say I am
But I can't change the way I feel about this
In caring so much abt 'their trust',
you lost mine


I want

To be able to go
To be able to have fun
To be able to forget all my problems for that night


I don't want

You or some1 else to get in trouble
To ruin your night
To get hurt again
To be embarresed infront of everyone
To hurt you again



I'm fighting myself
I want to go and have a great time and finally forget all the problems,
But I know if anything goes wrong, you and her will take the blame
And it will ruin your night and maybe hers
Don't worry abt me so much
I'm doing this for myself and you. I know you think it's unfair,
but not every1 can be as fair as you
You promised that if they kick me out, u'll come with
but I know if they really did, you really would come with me
that is unfair to you because I know Asha needs you there
she needs you to calm her down...
I'm sure it would have been amazingly fun
but I can't risk hurting anyone again











Can we please just be friends again? I don't see why you want to drag this on and on. It's done and I'm sorry. I admit it's my fault and I just want for us to win. I know we can if YOU stop draggin the issue on. Please, I'm begging you, what do I have to do for us to be friends again?
I know this just started recently but please?!


N I'm sorry I can't tell you. I just don't want to add anymore problems to your book. You have so many of my problems to try and handle as it is so I'm going to leave you out of it. But at the same time I'm afraid that leavin you out might be a bad thing at the same time. I really need your advice
but i don't want to hurt or trouble you.

Monday, March 3, 2008
 Okay, here's what CHANGED in lyk A DAY!!!!


1.I'm
not goin to prom
2.I'm
not modellin for Meglio
3.I've got a new godsis
4.I'm not gettin puppies soon
5.I can barely speak cuz I'm sick
6.My confidence level is now
ZERO
7.My english teacher is a bitch
8.My accounts teacher is a bitch
9.My Economics teacher is a bitch
10.My favourite principle is retiring!!!

Thank God for Asha n Stef and thank God I still have fabulous shoes!!!♥♥

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Okay, here's what's goin on in my life


1.I' m going to prom night
2.I'm going for da concert
3.I'm modellin for Meglio
4.My cheerleadin squad is gettin better
5.I luv my new class

6.I'm going to KL soon
7.I've got fabulous shoes!!!
8.I'm sick
9.I'm thinkin of askin my friend to be my godsis
10.I'm gettin puppies soon!!!